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All this time, Estella knitted on. When Miss Havisham had fixed her attention on me, she said, speaking as if there had been no lapse in our dialogue:
"What else?"
"Estella," said I, turning to her now, and trying to command my trembling voice, "you know I love you. You know that I have loved you long and dearly."
She raised her eyes to my face, on being thus addressed, and her fingers plied their work, and she looked at me with an unmoved countenance. I saw that Miss Havisham glanced from me to her, and from her to me.
"I should have said this sooner, but for my long mistake. It induced me to hope that Miss Havisham meant us for one another. While I thought you could not help yourself, as it were, I refrained from saying it. But I must say it now."
Preserving her unmoved countenance, and with her fingers still going, Estella shook her head.
"I know," said I, in answer to that action; "I know. I have no hope that I shall ever call you mine, Estella. I am ignorant what may become of me very soon, how poor I may be, or where I may go. Still, I love you. I have loved you ever since I first saw you in this house."
Looking at me perfectly unmoved and with her fingers busy, she shook her head again.
"It would have been cruel in Miss Havisham, horribly cruel, to practise on the susceptibility of a poor boy, and to torture me through all these years with a vain hope and an idle pursuit, if she had reflected on the gravity of what she did. But I think she did not. I think that in the endurance of her own trial, she forgot mine, Estella."
I saw Miss Havisham put her hand to her heart and hold it there, as she sat looking by turns at Estella and at me.
"It seems," said Estella, very calmly, "that there are sentiments, fancies - I don't know how to call them - which I am not able to comprehend. When you say you love me, I know what you mean, as a form of words; but nothing more. You address nothing in my breast, you touch nothing there. I don't care for what you say at all. I have tried to warn you of this; now, have I not?"
I said in a miserable manner, "Yes."
"Yes. But you would not be warned, for you thought I did not mean it. Now, did you not think so?"
"I thought and hoped you could not mean it. You, so young, untried, and beautiful, Estella! Surely it is not in Nature."
"It is in my nature," she returned. And then she added, with a stress upon the words, "It is in the nature formed within me. I make a great difference between you and all other people when I say so much. I can do no more."
"Is it not true," said I, "that Bentley Drummle is in town here, and pursuing you?"
"It is quite true," she replied, referring to him with the indifference of utter contempt.
"That you encourage him, and ride out with him, and that he dines with you this very day?"
She seemed a little surprised that I should know it, but again replied, "Quite true."
"You cannot love him, Estella!"
Her fingers stopped for the first time, as she retorted rather angrily, "What have I told you? Do you still think, in spite of it, that I do not mean what I say?"
"You would never marry him, Estella?"
She looked towards Miss Havisham, and considered for a moment with her work in her hands. Then she said, "Why not tell you the truth? I am going to be married to him."
I dropped my face into my hands, but was able to control myself better than I could have expected, considering what agony it gave me to hear her say those words. When I raised my face again, there was such a ghastly look upon Miss Havisham's, that it impressed me, even in my passionate hurry and grief.
"Estella, dearest dearest Estella, do not let Miss Havisham lead you into this fatal step. Put me aside for ever - you have done so, I well know - but bestow yourself on some worthier person than Drummle. Miss Havisham gives you to him, as the greatest slight and injury that could be done to the many far better men who admire you, and to the few who truly love you. Among those few, there may be one who loves you even as dearly, though he has not loved you as long, as I. Take him, and I can bear it better, for your sake!"
My earnestness awoke a wonder in her that seemed as if it would have been touched with compassion, if she could have rendered me at all intelligible to her own mind.
"I am going," she said again, in a gentler voice, "to be married to him. The preparations for my marriage are making, and I shall be married soon. Why do you injuriously introduce the name of my mother by adoption? It is my own act."
"Your own act, Estella, to fling yourself away upon a brute?"
"On whom should I fling myself away?" she retorted, with a smile. "Should I fling myself away upon the man who would the soonest feel (if people do feel such things) that I took nothing to him? There! It is done. I shall do well enough, and so will my husband. As to leading me into what you call this fatal step, Miss Havisham would have had me wait, and not marry yet; but I am tired of the life I have led, which has very few charms for me, and I am willing enough to change it. Say no more. We shall never understand each other."
"Such a mean brute, such a stupid brute!" I urged in despair.
"Don't be afraid of my being a blessing to him," said Estella; "I shall not be that. Come! Here is my hand. Do we part on this, you visionary boy - or man?"
"O Estella!" I answered, as my bitter tears fell fast on her hand, do what I would to restrain them; "even if I remained in England and could hold my head up with the rest, how could I see you Drummle's wife?"
"Nonsense," she returned, "nonsense. This will pass in no time."
"Never, Estella!"
"You will get me out of your thoughts in a week."
"Out of my thoughts! You are part of my existence, part of myself. You have been in every line I have ever read, since I first came here, the rough common boy whose poor heart you wounded even then. You have been in every prospect I have ever seen since - on the river, on the sails of the ships, on the marshes, in the clouds, in the light, in the darkness, in the wind, in the woods, in the sea, in the streets. You have been the embodiment of every graceful fancy that my mind has ever become acquainted with. The stones of which the strongest London buildings are made, are not more real, or more impossible to be displaced by your hands, than your presence and influence have been to me, there and everywhere, and will be. Estella, to the last hour of my life, you cannot choose but remain part of my character, part of the little good in me, part of the evil. But, in this separation I associate you only with the good, and I will faithfully hold you to that always, for you must have done me far more good than harm, let me feel now what sharp distress I may. O God bless you, God forgive you!"
In what ecstasy of unhappiness I got these broken words out of myself, I don't know. The rhapsody welled up within me, like blood from an inward wound, and gushed out. I held her hand to my lips some lingering moments, and so I left her. But ever afterwards, I remembered - and soon afterwards with stronger reason - that while Estella looked at me merely with incredulous wonder, the spectral figure of Miss Havisham, her hand still covering her heart, seemed all resolved into a ghastly stare of pity and remorse.
All done, all gone! So much was done and gone, that when I went out at the gate, the light of the day seemed of a darker colour than when I went in
29 comments:
His reading was good. I wish i could have his accent and stle of reading. It was very calm, clear and well read. His readings can drive me to the scene of the story.
FirdausSham
He have good voice and wonderful speech!I hope i was like him and can speak better than ever!!!He stopped at the right time and contiune and the right time too!!!
The Narrative read it very clearly and confidently. He paused at the correct time and then continued with the correct tone and expressions. - Naga
Reading aloud helps to understand the story better because of the different tone spoken and this makes the story very interesting.
His reading was good, very smooth reading.
style**
refer to previous post.
when he read the book, he read as he was the character and he was able to make the audience picture the scene.
His Reading was clear , his voice was not the same tone for the whole read through , he made the story to be more alive . At the sad parts , he said it with a sad tone in his voice. The way he talks makes me want to hear more .
The story was well read! The language was fluent, it was loud and clear. There were appropriate tones and he was able to express his feelings. He managed to be and feel the role as the characters. He was an excellent reader and i would not ind hearing the rest of the story from him. He managed to visualized the emotions that the characters were going through.
His reading is quite fast,however he has a good fluency and clear speech.The story he has shown good content of the story.
I am amazed by his reading skills.It was as though he was the character in the book.His tone and pitch are just perfect for the sentences and how they are supposed to be read.He is a good example that readers should follow..
He was very calm, pleasant and well read. The way he read the speech are very real and i could imagine how the person is reacting and what personality the person has.
I think that it teaches me that not only during reading aloud we need to have facial expression and correct pronounciation, but also during our oral. His reading was not fast and each words can be easily heard clearly. He was calm and patient when reading. I wil take him as an example when doing read aloud or oral.
The narrator read the story in a very clear and smooth manner and I was able to understand and get a clear picture of the story and the character. The narrator has a good voice too and he was able to express his feelings, tones, and expressions through the reading.
The reader spoke in a clear strong voice. He did not rush through the story. I am able to imagine the story. He does not speak in the same tone. He have a different tone when the character in the story is angry or upset.
The narrator had read with a pleasant voice. He expressed the story which can be visualized mentally. There are different tones in every sentences he read.
I'm amazaed by his readig . He read with good fluency and was able to make me visualize the scene .
nice tone.. fluency of tone..had good eye contect ....
his reading was very good.he read it clearly and with emotions. Hearing what he said made me want read it.
Zhi Sian, Its He has a good voice.
The narator reads very well. He reads very calmly.He reads fluently.
The story was flatenning. I could feel the expression and imagine the situation. He has a clear voice and he know which is the correct tone.
The reading was just too perfect and is very relaxing to listen to his voice
his reading is prefectly done.he has the good tone.his reading is very good that i can still understand although i have not read the book yet.this is one of a good learning method for a poor english student to improve their english by listening and his reading.he can become a good role modal to all student as he has the potential is good english reading.
His reading is good . He has clear pronounciation and the way he read it is well expressed . the way he expressed tell us as if he is in the situation .
Very good responses from most of you. It is clear that you enjoy the reading and you have seen a good example of someone reading aloud an extract from a book.
However, I am a bit concerned by a number of grammatical errors which should not be there.
e.g 'He have'should be 'He has'. There is a spelling mistake for 'style'. One of you wrote 'flattening', am not sure what it means.
he is a good speaker.when he speaks,there is a facial expression.i understand the story as he speaks fluently and calmly.
he is a good speaker.when he speaks,there is a facial expression.i understand the story as he speaks fluently and calmly.
by:azezah irzawati
dear zhi sian,i want to correct ur spelling mistake which is 'contiune' its should be continue.
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